Department of Homeland Stupidity

[[AK]Sonic Boom]

The Department of Homeland Security, in order to issue me a government TSA ID card, wanted to see... a driver's license as proof of my ID after they did a fingerprint and background check!


...so it turns out that for me to continue doing the job I've done for ten years, I have to pay $135 and undergo a Homeland Security fingerprinting and background check and get a DHS/TSA super-techno-hologram-fingerprint-scan-biometric government ID to continue my job.

My first clue of the ridiculousness was when I went in the the Homeland Security/TSA office to submit my application and there was a big sign on the wall saying, "MAKE ALL CHECKS PAYABLE TO LOCKHEED MARTIN."


After three weeks they decided I wasn't a terrorist (they actually called it a Terrorist Threat Assessment Screening) and I went back to the office to pick up my shiny new government biometric super-ID. Here's a paraphrase of what I went through to get my TWIC credential:


"Hello! Are you here to pick up your TWIC credential?"

"Yes."

"I'll just have to see your driver's license."

"What?! Why?"

"We just want to make sure you're you."

"I thought that's what you're for. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? After all, you have my super-biometric government ID right there in front of you..."

"They want us to see a driver's license or picture ID."

"Don't you already have my picture ID? And isn't it sitting right there in front of you? And isn't it biometric? Don't you have to scan my fingerprints again just to issue it to me? And isn't that what the whole purpose of this exercise is about?"

"Well, yes, but fingerprints can be bypassed..."


"WHAT! AND THAT'S EASIER THAN A FAKE DRIVER'S LICENSE?! I HAD A FAKE I.D. IN HIGH SCHOOL!"

"Well, that's the way it is. Do you want your TSA ID or not? (smiling.) Just place your fingerprint on this pad..."

"Okay! Everything's in order. Here's your new TSA TWIC card!"

...


God, I love security theatre. Because it's better to feel safe than to actually be safe.

I'm flying up to Alaska for 4th of July to visit my family and I'm going to purposely put my driver's license (and concealed weapons permit) in another pocket and see if the TSA will actually accept a TSA-issued TSA ID that allows me to walk unescorted in security areas designated by the TSA...

My guess is that I can work unescorted in security areas... like the engines and cockpit electronics, but not actually board the plane to fly anywhere.

Stay tuned.

[[AK]Bribo]

Government bureaucracy is an equal opportunity employer.

[[AK]Hylander]

After three weeks they decided I wasn't a terrorist

Proof our domestic and national security is going into the toilet under OB and da Boys!!

[[AK]Clay]

I have one of these cards as well. What a complete waste of productive time and money. Thank goodness work sponsored it all - I blew close to 16 hours total to get this thing, plus about $300 in fees. This is little more than a tax and a jobs program. To think we've been able to function for the last 50 years without these dumb things.

Count yourself lucky Sonic, I got my card so long ago Bush was still President - and it was still so new it took close to 6 months to get it all processed.

[[AK]Swae]

Proof our domestic and national security is going into the toilet under OB and da Boys!!

See Clay's comment above - I don't think this is something you can blame on Obama.

[[AK]Squidly]

See Clay's comment above - I don't think this is something you can blame on Obama.

I thought he was supposed to make all sweetness and light. You mean to say police are still beating poor people and hurricanes will continue to happen too?

[[AK]Hylander]

See Clay's comment above - I don't think this is something you can blame on Obama.

Umm.. that was an attempt at humor that Homeland Security didn't determine that Sonic was a terrorist.

[Peora]

Government scam masked as a background check to get your time and money!

[[AK]Swae]

Umm.. that was an attempt at humor that Homeland Security didn't determine that Sonic was a terrorist.

I missed the joke part of it, my apologies.