Star Wars EQ Style. (Looks about right)

[Fragetti]

Dateline: June27th 2003
Location: Star Wars Online (Hoth Server)
Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered Lower Death Star
RebelGuy shouts "lvl 86 Rebel looking for group. pls /tell"
You say to your group 'Shethler, you keep us cloaked and we'll run to the prison block. We'll take cell 4.'
Shethler tells the group 'k'
Monfway tells the group 'Can you Nanofeet me plz Drinzle. I haven't been to camp the Bantha for the Rocket Boots yet.'
Drinzle tells the group 'I need to balance my inner force a little. I'm at 2 FB's'
Grut shouts 'Rebels suck'
You say to your group 'Hope this new blaster doesn't have a failing battery pack. Man the TJ 60 series was always mis-firing'
RebelGuy shouts 'Bite me Grut'
Lamlee auctions 'Darth Vader Cloak for sale/trade. Jedi, Rebel, Mercenary only. 50000 credits or will consider some high lvl Droid enhancement units'
Grut shouts 'Duel me you jackass'
Jombire tells the group 'Yeah, I just upgraded to the plasma rifle, cost me 3000 credits and a Trooper Sentry backpack.'
You say to your group 'Aye, I wouldn't mind the plasma rifle, how long does it take to recharge?'
RebelGuy shouts 'haha yeah, like a lvl 86 Rebel against a lvl 36 Droid is a fair fight?'
Jombire tells the group 'It's not too bad, it's great if you can get the Solar Panel of Lightning, man, you just never stop firing with that thing equipped.'
Polfy auctions 'What's stats on cloak and can Imperials wear it?'
You say to your group 'Cool '
Grut shouts 'lol, aye, Feet of Nanosec and the Bolt of Restraining = 1 dead Rebel'
Drinsle begins to command the force.
Monfway's feet blur out of vision.
Drinsle tells the group 'Ok, I'm at 5 FB's, lets go'
Lamlee auctions 'DV Cloak is +10 to Saber Strike and Laser attack, +14 to menacing bargaining and it procs Strangle Hold. And no, Imperials can't wear it'
You say to your group 'K everyone, straight to Cell 4, stay close and follow me'
RebelGuy shouts 'Man, I wish I hadn't of bothered with this class. Rebels suck. Wish I had of made a Droid now. I can never get a group 8('
You say to your group 'It's the next left at the end of this passage, be careful of the Elite Imperial Troopers, they can see through our Cloaking Sphere sometimes.'
Polfy auctions 'What a crock. why the hell can't I equip that cloak. I'm on the same side as Vader?'
Grut shouts 'LMAO. When I saw Gordon playing a droid in beta iv I knew what class I would be playing.'
Tungret says out of character 'If anyone sees C3PO keep him talking please, I need to hand over a couple of things for my quest.’
Monfway tells the group ‘Oh darn, Cloaking Sphere is about to wear off.’
You say to your group ‘Crap, ok don’t panic’
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_03_says ‘It’s the rebellion scum like you who have ruined your own star systems, you won’t ruin mine!!’
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_02_says ‘Halt in the name of Emperor!’
An Imperial Stormtrooper_00_says ‘Time to die Monfway!’
You tell your group ‘All on my target. We can do this’
An Imperial Stormtrooper_14_says ‘error unable to locate strmfile14.txt’
A Stormtrooper Aprrentice says ‘At last, my people have come to rescue me from this prison. Maybe now I will be able to stand at my sister’s side and help continue the fight against the evil Empire! [Princess Leia] will reward you massively if you can get me out of here and to [safety].’
Jombire prepares to fire his rifle.
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_03_ shoots Shethler for 260 points of damage
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_ shoots Shethler for 174 points of damage
Jombire blasts a Stormtrooper Apprentice for 72 points of damage
You say to your group ‘Oh YES! It’s Luke Skywalker under that Stormtrooper uniform! Nobody has ever found him to rescue yet!’
Shethlar tells the group ‘Get the damn things off me’
Klewtill auctions ‘Paying 5 credits for a Nanofeet at Priest of Degobah lift’
You say to your group ‘ASSIST ME Jombire, get on my target’
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_02_shoots Shethlar for 210 points of damage
Monfway tells the group ‘ KEWL!’
C3PO says ‘You will not evade me Tungret.
You say to your group ‘Attack it damn it Monfway’
Shethlar begins to command the force.
You slash an Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_ for 15 points of damage
Olgreth auctions ‘I’ll Nanofeet you for 20 credits’
Drinzle tells the group ‘Where are you guys at? I can’t find you.’
Shelthar fades away.
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_shoots YOU for 350 points of damage
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_03_slashes YOU for 140 points of damage
You are stunned!
You cannot attack while stunned
Jombire tells the group ‘Equip your rifle man, you are still using your crappy lightsabre’
Jombire prepares to fire his rifle.
Tungret shouts ‘WTF?!? C3PO is agroing me’
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_blasts YOU for 270 points of damage
You are stunned
Klewtill auctions ‘Man, you Droids are a bunch of greedy MF’s’
Drinzle tells the group ‘Guys?’
Jombire blasts a Stormtrooper Apprentice for 25 points of damage
An Aprrentice Stormtrooper says ‘No!! I cannot die and leave my Sister to face the Empire alone! I must get out of here and complete my training with Yoda! I must defend myself!’
You shoot An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_ for 78 points of damage
You tell your group ‘thank god my Unleash the Force is available, destroying my target now.’
You feel the power of the Force surge through you.
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_ says ‘nit by non-mele attack for 9 points of damage’
You say to your group ‘****ing hell’
C3PO says ‘You will not evade me Drinzle
You say to your group ‘Where the hell are you Drinzle, we need repairing badly’
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_shoots YOU for 50 points of damage
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_03_slashes YOU for 170 points of damage
You tell your group ‘Noooo, don’t attack that one!’
A Stormtrooper Apprentice shoots Jombire but misses!
Mandrin auctions ‘Dented Bobba Fat helms for Jedi Saber quest’
Drinzle tells the group ‘OMFG! C3PO is running riot, I got to zone!’
Jombire tells the group ‘I’m gonna burn Force Touch on it!’
Monfay tells the group ‘Laaaaaagggggggggg’
WookiesRool auctions ‘It’s Boba Fet you moron’
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_shoots YOU but misses!
Drinzle shouts ‘C3PO to zone!’
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_02_shoots YOU for 530 points of damage!
RebelGuy shouts "lvl 86 Rebel looking for group. pls /tell"
Monfway begins to command the force.
Drinzle shouts ‘C3PO to zone!’
Jombire gestures mystically as he commands the Force to his will.
You feel replenished and invigorated.
You say to your group ‘Phew, thanks Monfway’
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_03_slashes YOU for 145 points of damage
Shethlar says to the group ‘I am never teaming with you lot ever again. You almost got me killed’
You say to your group ‘We couldn’t get them off you sorry Shethlar, don’t be upset.’
Shethlar has left the group.
A Stormtrooper Apprentice is surrounding by a fierce inferno of energy.
A Stormtrooper Apprentice has been slain by Jombire!
You gain experience!
Your faction standing with Princess Leia got worse!
Your faction standing with the Alliance got worse!
Your faction standing with the Imperial Army got better!
Your faction standing with Yoda got worse!
Your faction standing with The Ewoks got worse!
A Stormtrooper Apprentice _corpse01_says ‘I have fallen my Sister Leia, please avenge my death against these vile Emperor worshippers….One day I will return……..cough….arghhh………’
Drinzle shouts ‘C3PO to zone!’
You say to your group ‘You f**king idiot why did you kill him?’
Monfway has gone Linkdead
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_03_shoots Jombire for 460 points of damage.
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_02_shoots Jombire for 390 points of damage
You shoot An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_for 26 points of damage
Jombire tells the group ‘I’ve got to zone’
You say to your group ‘christ, get out of here now’
Chewcacka shouts ‘Actually the dented Boba Fet helms are for the Mercenary smuggler ship quest’
Drinzle tells the group ‘wow, I made it out with 3400 life force. I’ve never been under 3 lifebars before, that was scarey.’
Jombire prepares to fire his rifle.
You have removed Drinzle from your group.
Drinzle has left the group.
You say to your group ‘Get out man, we cannot take these.’
Jombire tells the group ‘I can take down one of these things on my own, np. I’ve got a spare medi-kit.’
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_03_shoots Jombire for 130 points of damage.
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_02_shoots Jombire for 90 points of damage
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_03_shoots Jombire for 460 points of damage.
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_02_shoots Jombire for 390 points of damage
Jombire is stunned!
Mrlewt shouts ‘Camp Check!’
You say to your group ‘Get the hell out man, I’m almost to the zone.’
Jombire shoots An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_02_ but misses!
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_shoots Jombire for 330 points of damage.
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_04_shoots Jombire for 490 points of damage
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_03_shoots Jombire for 410 points of damage.
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_shoots Jombire for 540 points of damage
Jombire has been slain by An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_
An Elite Imperial Stormtrooper_00_says ‘Another one has fallen to the might of Emperor. These fools will soon learn to obey, or they will die like this dog!’
An Imperial Stormtrooper_14_says ‘error unable to locate deathfile14.txt’
Drestin shouts ‘Emperor’
C3PO says ‘You will not escape me GroupLeader’
C3PO Beams a smile at you.

C3PO says ‘Ahhh, I feel much better now’
You writhe in the grip of battery acid.
You have been slain by C3PO
Returning to home point.
Loading, please wait……….

[Fragetti]

(continued)
You have entered Endor

RebelGuy shouts ‘lvl 86 Rebel looking for group. pls /tell’
Greenback auctions ‘Ewok scalps. 5 credits per stack’
Dr_Droid shouts ‘RebelGuy you suck, you were kill stealing me in the swamps when I was lvl 14. I remember you well’
Junga is inspecting you
Junga is inspecting you
You say to your group ‘Well that was a frigging load of rubbish. 8( I lost 2 bars of fulfillment for my next discipline,’
RebelGuy shouts ‘What lvl are you now Dr_Droid?’
Junga says ‘Give me some credizz d3wD’
Hivver says out of character ‘anyone seen my corpse?’
Menin shouts ‘Help!’
Dr_Droid shouts ‘16. Why?’
Mhalik shouts ‘where are you Menin?’
Jombire tells the group ‘man, that was so close, I almost had him’
You say to your group ‘I have to go and collect some credits so I can get a ride back to the Death Star’
RebelGuy shouts ‘Duel me!’
Menin shouts ‘well I’m dead now. Thanks for your help. NOT ‘
Junga tells you ‘Give me credizz d3wD plz’
Junga is inspecting you
Junga is inspecting you
Junga is inspecting you
You say ‘f*ckoff you scrounger’
Junga is inspecting you
Dr_Droid shouts ‘Lets go *****’
You say to your group ‘Almost at Ewok Village’
Jombire tells the group ‘k’
Junga is inspecting you
Junga says ‘Credizz plz’
Junga is inspecting you
An Ewok Guard_12_ says ‘Your past actions have earned my contempt GroupLeader. You are not welcome here.’
An Ewok Guard _04_ says ‘Prepare to die traitor’
Junga says ‘Lizzen d3wd, I need Cr3DizZ…plz plz plz’
Junga is inspecting you
An Ewok Guard_12_ Bonks YOU for 1200 points of damage.
An Ewog Guard_04_Pokes YOU for 1840 points of damage.
Junga says ‘hehehehe’
Junga is inspecting you
Junga is inspecting you
Dr_Droid has defeated RebelGuy in a duel to the death! RebelGuy has fled like a cowardly dog!
An Ewok Guard_12_Punches YOU for 3430 points of damage
Dr_Droid shouts ‘LMAO. Rebels SUCK!!’
Pain and suffering tries to strike YOU but misses!
Junga is inspecting you
Junga says ‘lol’
An Ewok Guard_04_Slaps you for 2310 points of damage.
Junga is inspecting you
You have been slain by an Ewok Guard

You have lost your Jedi Fulfillment. You are now a Junior.

Returning to home point.

Loading, please wait……

You have entered Endor

You say to your group ‘I HATE THIS FOKKING GAME!’
Junga says ‘D3wd yew suCk’
Junga pokes GroupLeader.
Jombire tells the group ‘calm down man’
Your group has been disbanded.
Junga is inspecting you

/quit

[Pixelsponge]

Was I supposed to read that?

[[AK]Squidly]

ROFL...

BTW, Where you been, Pix... we could've used you in last night's (and Wednesday's) scrims...

[Fragetti]

Only if you have time on your hands. Its a long read. But for EQers used to 4 hour corpse runs, 24 hour + camps, and hell levels. It is a drop in the bucket of your personal time. Kind of lends itself to the humor of the peice I think.

[[AK]Palooka]

I read the whole thing. It's pretty funny, and certainly accurate.