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Thread: Hurricane Rita

  1. #1
    Senior Knight [AK]Nuts's Avatar
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    Hurricane Rita

    I recently read that they have classified Rita as being not only a Cat 5 hurricane but through modern sociometerological tests they have also identified the storm as being more racist than Katrina. Democratic National Committee members have formed a quick response think tank to enable the creation of a National Blame Policy. The think tank itself was formed, convened and disbanded after just two minutes of work. A copy of the policy has been forwarded to Howard Dean.

    Louis Farrakhan, a once popular calypso singer, stated that the new storm, generated by George W. Bush's Weather Dominator (which he stole from Serpantor during a battle in the Arctic) has been specially modified to hate not only blacks but poor Hispanics. Farrakhan continued by stating that NOAA and the NWS were populated by "honky Jews that hate blacks."

    Adulterer, Jesse Jackson, co-founder of the SHOVE foundation, was scheduled to meet with future 'evacuees' in the Galveston area but canceled his trip when he learned the 2003 Census data showed that Galveston County is 72% white.

    Cindy Sheehan, who recently arrived in Washington D.C., blogged that George Bush needed to meet with her to discuss the 2005 Farmer's Almanac and when George was going to pull troops out of New Orleans. Cindy, a licensed idiotarian, has been dogging the President, demanding to know why her husband and family hate her.

    On the lighter side, as Texans are legally required to own a pick-up truck (locally referred to as a 'pick-em-up truck'), the evacuation process is going smoothly. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has been asked to help coordinate the evacuation of the local Swap Meet being held at the deserted Galveston Shores Drive-In theater as his managements skills are best focused on groups of 25 or less. Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco has offered her assistance but states, "I'll be there as soon as the doctors have finished removing my head from my ass."

    Texas Governor Rick Perry (brother to Luke & Steve) believes that no federal aide would be required in Texas as, "it's the states' responsibility to care for it's citizens... ain't nothing in the U.S. Constitution about providing flood insurance and what have you." Perry was seen heading toward Galveston in his Ford F350 armed with his custom crafted 1917 Enfield rifle to ensure that looters were properly dealt with. "We authorized law enforcement officers and ordinary citizens to shoot looters the last time Galveston was crippled by a Hurricane and gosh darn it, I want in on that kind of fun!"


    </rant>
    </sarcasm>

    (man it's a slow day at work)
    Last edited by [AK]Nuts; 09-22-2005 at 12:20 PM.

  2. #2
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    It's all sad, but true...

  3. #3
    Senior Knight [AK]Nuts's Avatar
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    NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana --- The initial claims by New Orleans and Louisiana officials that tens of thousands of people were killed by Hurricane Katrina are apparently off by tens of thousands. When asked to explain such a huge discrepancy, Mayor Nagin of New Orleans blamed the failed school system that was destroyed by the Bush Administration.

    "If the school system here wasn't such a failure, then maybe our officials could count better," said Nagin. "Bush and his Administration destroyed our public school system by lowering taxes and passing No Child Left Behind. I even had trouble counting the number of buses we had available to evacuate people. Imagine my shock when I discovered dozens of buses under water that could have been used for evacuation. I only counted three. Bush has destroyed education in this country, and in New Orleans in particular."

    When asked how the education system was destroyed by Bush years prior to his election, Nagin was adamant that Bush was at fault. "I can't answer that question, and that's Bush's fault," said Nagin. "Had Bush not been elected, I'd have an answer to that question. He's a racist, a liar, and a failure."

  4. #4
    Loved By All [AK]Choozoo's Avatar
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    Nuts, is that last post for real?

  5. #5
    Senior Knight [AK]Nuts's Avatar
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    uh




    no

  6. #6
    Loved By All [AK]Choozoo's Avatar
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    uh



    ok, thx for the info

  7. #7
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    From what we've seen of Nagin, Chooz's question was a valid one.
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    And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles.

  8. #8
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    Actually Chooz's question would apply to all Liberals....

  9. #9
    Lurking Moar Slaughter's Avatar
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    New Orleans makes me laugh.
    lol, <3

    Retired EQ, WoW Player.

  10. #10
    Accept no substitutes. [AK]Bribo's Avatar
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    I don't see how the destruction of a city, loss of life and human misery "makes you laugh", but I've never been one to understand you anyhow.

    Looks like Rita is kicking New Orleans ass. The levies have broken again in three places.
    [AK]Bribo

    If you were a zombie and I had to kill you, I'd feel sad.

  11. #11
    Lurking Moar Slaughter's Avatar
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    Its like God hates NO...
    lol, <3

    Retired EQ, WoW Player.

  12. #12
    Accept no substitutes. [AK]Bribo's Avatar
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    I don't believe God directs hurricanes to hit cities.

    He's much too busy keeping track of the status of your soul.
    [AK]Bribo

    If you were a zombie and I had to kill you, I'd feel sad.

  13. #13
    Lurking Moar Slaughter's Avatar
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    He gave up on my soul years ago..
    lol, <3

    Retired EQ, WoW Player.

  14. #14
    Who is Nuts and Abbadon? [AK]StitchJones's Avatar
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    God does not hate NO, he's cleansing it. It says so in the bible. It reads that a cleansing wave will come and wash away the sins from the sand. NO is a den of sin and it is being cleansed. Granted the bible doesn't actually say NO, but just in general he is giving them all a good washing.


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